In the Wake of Valentine’s Day, it is Not Wrong to Dream About Love
Written By Sofia Wallace
In our messy, digitized, undefined sphere of collegiate dating, it almost seems like the more time that goes by without love, the more out of reach it feels. Of course, love can be everywhere if you embrace it. I love late night pasta dinners with my best girlfriends, I love the view of the Golden Gate Bridge from my dorm window, and I love FaceTime calls with my little sisters back at home. But I’m talking about a different kind - the kind of love whose absence leaves you feeling lonely and a little bit hopeless on Valentine’s Day.
To be clear, I’m not anti-Valentine’s Day. I appreciate how the windows adorned in paper hearts and flowers on every corner make the world appear softer for a day or two. It was always my favorite holiday in elementary school - back when every student was required to make a valentine for each other.
However as we get older, going into Valentine’s without a special person to keep in your mind that day can make you feel like you’ve been rejected from the world’s greatest club. And the worst, most tantalizing part about that club? It seems like it was so easy for everyone else to get in. So you ask yourself: why not me?
With this kind of thinking, it’s much easier to spiral than to think rationally. It’s not embarrassing to be single on Valentine’s Day, but it does feel embarrassing to be sad about being single on Valentine’s Day. When you’re already halfway down this spiral of emotions, wanting love feels pathetic, self-pitiful, and even anti-feminist. Don’t let these thoughts get you down though, it’s not a crime to dream about love. In fact, I would say that we have been conditioned to do so all our lives.
In the first films I can remember being shown as a little girl, love was always the resolution. Every Disney princess movie ended with a true love’s kiss saving the day or a grand wedding where the whole town rejoiced. Even though these movies aren’t labeled as romance, love seems to be the driving force of each one. Growing up, the media enforced gender norms and classic teen romance tropes, so it’s not surprising that we feel like we’re doing something wrong when these expectations aren’t met.
In addition, dating is not easy. At our late teens/early twenties age, we’re on the brink of adulthood and approaching it in different ways, leaving us all at different levels of emotional maturity. Dating apps can feel like a minefield, but stories of those who came out of them with love keep you blindly persisting. Shyness can dissipate any hope of stumbling into a romance in public. We’re not left with much to work with, but still, we dream of love, and that should come along with no guilt if you find yourself doing so this Valentine’s Day.
